Tag: Anxiety

Drum n Bass · Mixes

Spanners & Kiki

KikiLeave a comment

I’m not going to get too in to it, but people derailing your grieving process sucks. I’m just taking everything in stride. My dad has been gone for 1 year and there are still people taking actions that hinder me from getting closure. It’s definitely not fun. I’ve moved on from crying because I’m sad to crying because I’m angry. Is that growth? 🙃

My new position at work has me back to working 8 hour days. I’m enjoying it, but I’m trying to get used to working at home 8 hours a day. When we first went to WFH, I was furloughed and only teaching part time in the evening. I spent my days as I pleased and had more than enough time to prep for my evening classes. Now I’m back in grad school and working from home full time. I fully understand that others have been trying to find this balance for the last 2 years. I’m new to the game though, so my time management definitely needs a little tweaking. I’m working on it.

I’m listening to old old old old old Andy C mixes. It’s funny to be doing serious work and be sitting at my desk full on raving with the volume at 100% at 10 am.

This came on and it made me really happy. This tune is 22 years old. 😲

Drum n Bass · Mixes

2022 & Kiki

KikiLeave a comment

2021 gone. The year seemed extremely long and not long at all.

I spent my dad’s 1 year memorial with my mum. I don’t want to get too eerie and weird, but I do feel like he came to hang out with me that day. I just felt his presence quite strongly. That’s all I’ll say about that. 😐

I get the feeling he is doing well and definitely resting in peace. He’s buried with my grandparents and all his siblings and I feel immense comfort knowing that.

Back in LA now. I got a new position at work and am busy all the time. I’m not complaining, it’s just vastly different from how I spent the majority of my 2021. 😂

Listening to Echo Brown.

Drum n Bass · Tracks

California Kiki

KikiLeave a comment

Back in LA. Looks like I left London at the right time, as the temp started dropping and a new variant wanting some attention. I lived in the Midwest for over 20 years, and 4 years in LA has made me forget what life in negative temps is like. 😂 That damp wet cold that showed up in London when I was leaving had me acting a straight fool. You would think I never experienced walking to the train with prickly cold cheeks as the wind made me cry.

I do feel a little less anxious about my dad’s estate. There’s still a long road ahead, as there’s still a lot of unfinished business, but it’s nice to get a little more clarity and closure on the house sitch.

It’ll be 1 year since he died in a couple of weeks, and it’s been hard that it’s taken this long to sort some of these things out. I have an amazing support network and I just have to trust that everything will work out like it needs to.

Planning some lessons for my classes that I have to teach tonight, after not having taught in almost 6 weeks. 🙃

This Flowanastasia and Nymfo hitting a little too on the nose for me today. 😂

Also really vibin’ to this Break remix.

Drum n Bass · Shows · Tracks

Rinse Wash Repeat Kiki

KikiLeave a comment

Still in London. Still got heaps to sort out with the house. I’ve kind of developed a routine, so the process of going through all my dad’s stuff, albeit repetitive, has become a little easier. I had to sort out his clothes the other day though and that broke me. I have also somewhat figured what I need to do to get the house emptied and ready to be sold, and I’m still doing all my school assignments. Basically, I’m hanging in there. 🙃

Me and Kathy are going to see the homie Submorphics this weekend. I’m very much looking forward to this show: a) It will be great to see Greg! b) We all know how much I love Lenzman. c) The whole lineup is actually great and d) I haven’t been to a show in almost 2 years!

Ideally I’d post a North Quarter tune, but I’ve been listening to this Tatora & Satl on repeat for the past couple of days, so I think I should share that instead. 🥰

Drum n Bass · Tracks

London Kiki

KikiLeave a comment

So I made it here safe. Thankfully the COVID travel process for fully vaccinated was stress-free which really lifted a lot of the anxiety with coming here. When I was going to Sierra Leone for my dad’s funeral, the whole test process added to the grief and was a complete nightmare.

I had a huge assignment due for school, so I spent all week working on that and didn’t really see anyone. I only spent one day at the house going through Dad’s things. It was quite emotional going to the house and having him not be there. I did find some letters that he had saved from me and my siblings from when we first moved to America. They were very sweet and funny. I love that he saved them.

It’s rainy and I’m just lazing around listening to some DLR and reading this week’s chapters.

Enjoy your Sunday!